Sunpaws interview
by Amberflame805
Summary: This is about an apprentice that goes to the Dark forest to interview the cats that live there. Rated T for swearing.


Warriors, Sunpaws interview.

Sunpaw: _In the Dark forest_. Hi there! I need to interview you for my class. Just answer a few of my questions I wrote for you.

Brokenstar: Who is she?

Tigerstar: I don't know

Mapleshade: Don't care

Hawkfrost: What?

Sunpaw: I'll take that as a yes! _To Brokenstar_

Brokenstar: Um, ok.

Sunpaw: What's it like being an arrogant bastard?

Brokenstar: What did you just say?

Sunpaw: Jeez, you deaf? You heard me!

Brokenstar: I am not an arrogant bastard!

Sunpaw: _Nods head knowingly_. Ah. Denial. And yes you are. I am sure anyone can tell you that you are arrogant, and Yellowfang was a medicine cat.

Brokenstar: _Unsheathes claws _

Sunpaw: _To Tigerstar _What's it like being a hypocrite?

Tigerstar: What did you just call me?

Sunpaw: Jeez, you too?

Tigerstar: I am not a hypocrite!

Sunpaw: _Nods knowingly_. Ah denial. And yes you were! You were all like kill the half clan cats even though your sons are half clan!

Hawkfrost: I am not half clan!

Mapleshade: Wow. This is the best entertainment that I have seen in all my death. Keep it up!

Sunpaw: _Winks at Mapleshade_. Hawkfrost, what's it like having the entire fandom think you and Ivypool are in love?

Hawkfrost: What?! That traitor?

Brokenstar/Mapleshade: _Snickers _

Sunpaw: So you don't love her. Ok.

Hawkfrost: Why would I love that traitor?

Sunpaw: _To Brokenstar. _ Well, at least you don't have to worry about that. Everyone thinks you are a heartless monster incapable of love, mercy or happiness.

Brokenstar: . . .

Sunpaw: I don't know what' scarier. The fact that you didn't deny that, or that I'm right next to you and you are eyeing me in an evil way.

Brokenstar: When am I not eyeing some one in an evil way?

Sunpaw: True dat.

Brokenstar/Tigerstar/Mapleshade/ Hawkfrost:?

Sunpaw: Wait, you don't know text talk?

Dark forest cats: Text talk?

Sunpaw: Ghaaa!

Sunpaw: _To Brokenstar_ What's it like dying the most pathetic death in the entire sires?

Brokenstar: Excuse me?

Sunpaw: Spit it out Grandpa!

Brokenstar: Did you just call me Grandpa, and insult how I died and expect to live to see tomorrow?

Sunpaw: I wouldn't kill me if I were you. Then PETA will take you away and you will go to jail for Child abuse. It is now illegal. Oh, so Brokenstar, because you are kit murderer, you are wanted like everywhere.

Brokenstar: How dare you!

Sunpaw: Listen up here tyrant king, you answer my questions, and I won't call the police.

Brokenstar: Tyrant king?

Tigerstar: Suits you.

Hawkfrost: I agree

Brokenstar: Shut up.

Mapleshade: Why are you here anyway?

Sunpaw: Most of my class did Starclan, but I thought that would be boring. So here I am!

Brokenstar: Aren't we so happy to see you.

Sunpaw: So, Grandpa has heard of sarcasm eh? And Tigerstar, what does it feel like to be pathetic enough to be beaten by a kittypet? And Hawkfrost, what does it feel like to have a kittypet mother?

Brokenstar: Why is she still alive?

Tigerstar: I have no idea.

Hawkfrost: Let's get her.

Sunpaw: Well Brokenstar, you _are_ an oldie. You were like in the first series!

Brokenstar: What is she talking about?

Tigerstar: I have no idea

Hawkfrost: Who cares, lets just kill her.

Brokenstar: Well maybe we should let her go. This PETA whatever they are might be dangerous.

Sunpaw: You never answered the arrogant bastard question.

Brokenstar: How should we kill her?

Sunpaw: _To Mapleshade. _What does it feel like to lose everything?

Brokenstar: Why does she get a question that is not a insult?

Sunpaw: Because I feel bad for her. You deserved everything you got.

Tigerstar: She has a point.

Brokenstar: I forgot why you're still alive.

Hawkfrost: Why did I get a bad question?

Sunpaw: I liked Hollyleaf.

Hawkfrost: So what.

Sunpaw_: Smacks head. _Oh yeah! This is what happens when you use time machines. She is not dead yet.

Hawkfrost: I kill Hollyleaf?

Sunpaw: Yeah.

Hawkfrost: Cool.

Sunpaw: Your sick.

Brokenstar: Lets just get this over with.

Sunpaw: Ok. Who is the most hated cat that you have ever met? This is for all of you.

Mapleshade: Everyone.

Brokenstar: It used to be Yellowfang until

Tigerstar: It used to be Firestar until

Hawkfrost: It used to be Brambleclaw until

Brokenstar/ Hawkfrost/ Tigerstar: We met you.

Sunpaw: Ah. So you blame the innocent child for telling you the truth!

Brokenstar: Innocent?!

Sunpaw: Ok, well I still have more questions.

Brokenstar: Alright, but if you insult us one more time . . .

Sunpaw: Ah so the tyrant king threatens children.

Brokenstar: I'll do more than threaten Sunpaw.

Sunpaw: _Sighs._ Ok, well anyway, the next question is for Tigerstar. Would you have attacked the black kit in the woods is you knew he would be your downfall?

Tigerstar: What black kit?

Sunpaw: I was right! All my friends say Tigerstar knew who the kit was, but he didn't! Sunpaw was right again! Tigerstar never realized he died because something he did years before!

Brokenstar: What's she talking about?

Tigerstar: I have no idea.

Sunpaw: Well now that I am here, I will solve some Warrior cats' mysteries once and for all! Ok, so um let me think. Oh, I got it! Is Thistleclaw here?

Thistleclaw: I am now.

Sunpaw: Did you really love Snowfur?

Tigerstar: I think the answer is yes.

Brokenstar: Really? You mean when you where taking over the forest you where contemplating Thistleclaw's love life?

Tigerstar: No. Well maybe a little.

Hawkfrost: How did you have time for that? From what I heard, Brokenstar left you quite a mess!

Brokenstar: Well! None of that would have mattered when I took over the forest!

Sunpaw: No you didn't. You died blind and helplessly pathetic by berries; killed by a medicine cat.

Brokenstar: And I though I hated Yellowfang with all my heart.

Sunpaw: You don't have a heart.

Tigerstar: True dat.

Brokenstar: You know what another commonly asked question is? Who would win a fight, Tigerstar or I. And I know the answer to that, would you like me to prove it?

Tigerstar: . . .

Sunpaw: Anyway, back to Thistleclaw.

Thistleclaw: . . .

Sunpaw: Well?

Thistleclaw: Will Blue_fur_ see this?

Sunpaw: No. Dead cats don't grade.

Thistleclaw: Then, yes.

Sunpaw: I knew it!

Tigerstar: Same!

Sunpaw: Tigerstar, um how did you know that?

Tigerstar: Well, when he was ranting about Blue_star_ (_looks at Thistleclaw meaningfully) _I was the one who had to hear it. So I figured if he cared so much he must have loved Snowfur.

Sunpaw: Now Thistleclaw leave.

Thistleclaw: No. Blue_fur._ Tigerstar has no right to have a leaders name.

Tigerstar: A leader should always get their name. I don't call Firestar Fireheart!

Thistleclaw: _Growls_ leaves.

Sunpaw: Tigerstar, did you love Sasha or Goldenflower?

Tigerstar: Neither. They were just tools.

Mapleshade: Don't lie! You loved both, but you loved Sasha more. Goldenflower started as a tool but ended as more than that! You could have killed her, I saw you take Brindleface instead! No ones judging here.

Brokenstar: _Cough_

Tigerstar: Ok, how do you know that?

Hawkfrost: Yeah how?

Brokenstar: Are you some kind of stalker?

Mapleshade: No! Well maybe. I mean it gets lonely here in the Dark forest! I um, well, I kind of checked on you.

Brokenstar: So what kind of things did you see?

Mapleshade: Well, ok here we go. Brokenstar, I knew you wanted Foxheart as your mother. You respected her, and had she not been your mother, she would have been your mate. I knew you hated Yellowfang, and were ashamed of yourself for along time because of her. You liked her when she was a kit, but hated her when she started to speak up against you. Tigerstar, I know you love Sasha and still do. Brokenstar has always been a fright to you. You respect him, but would kill him if you could. Hawkfrost, you care about Mothwing, but you would kill her. You hate yourself because of Tadpole; you think you could have saved him. You never liked Brambleclaw even before his betrayal. You respected Blackclaw, and actually cared when he died. Tigerstar, of all the Dark forest cats you are the only one who doesn't insult Darkstripe. You care for all your kits, and would have defended Brambleclaw and Tawnypelt with your life. But when you died your heart seems to have left you.

Brokenstar:!

Tigerstar: ok, how did you have time for all that?

Mapleshade: Tom, I was dead before your mother was alive!

Brokenstar: Creepy!

Hawkfrost: So not cool! That was personal information!

Mapleshade: Boy, you don't want to know everything I know.

Brokenstar: Yeah, we don't.

Sunpaw: Um that was weird. And creepy. Anyway, Tigerstar, what does it feel like to lose to Firestar in a fair fight?

Tigerstar: What are you talking about?  
Sunpaw: Oh yeah, time machine. That's why Brokenstar is still here, same with Hawkfrost.

Hawkfrost: ! Wait I die?

Tigerstar: Wait I die to that stupid kittypet?

Brokenstar: Wait _I_ die?

Sunpaw: _Sighs_ Tigerstar yes you are killed by Firestar, Brokenstar by Yellowfang, and Hawkfrost by Brambleclaw. What did you expect? You are the bad guys, Warriors is a kids book.

Brokenstar: I don't know, to live?

Sunpaw: Lower your expectations.

Brokenstar: Aw nuts.

Tigerstar: So we have to die?

Sunpaw: Yes! I already said that! Try to keep up here!

Tigerstar: Oh I'm sorry, I am just a book behind you.

Sunpaw: If it makes you feel better, Firestar dies too.

Tigerstar: Is there anyway to change our fates?

Sunpaw; Sort of. Not really because the Erins already got it published so only fans can grant you life.

Brokenstar: All I wanted was to live! To feel sun on my fur, food in my belly. Was life too much to ask for?

Sunpaw: oh shut up. We all know that you wanted that and to enslave the clans. Don't embellish your cruel nature. Your going to die forever and you deserve it. Good riddance if you ask me.

Brokenstar: Go to hell.

Sunpaw: I'm with you. Same thing.

Brokenstar: Damn you.

Sunpaw: Taken.

Brokenstar: ?

Sunpaw: Your damned.

Brokenstar: Fall of a cliff.

Sunpaw: Taken by Bluestar.

Brokenstar: Die in a hole.

Sunpaw: Taken by Hollyleaf.

Brokenstar: Get horribly deformed by a car.

Sunpaw: Taken by Cinderpelt. Did you even read the series?

Brokenstar: Nope

Sunpaw; Figured.

Tigerstar: Are you done yet?

Sunpaw: What, full schedule of dementing innocent apprentices?

Tigerstar: Hey that's a great idea! Thanks!

Sunpaw: Oops. What book are we in anyway?

Hawkfrost: You mean to say that you came back randomly in time?

Sunpaw: Something like that.

Hawkfrost: _Rolls eyes_

Sunpaw: Oh get a life. All of you!

Tigerstar/ Hawkfrost/ Brokenstar: We're dead mouse-brained bitch.

Sunpaw: Bitch? Bitch? HAVE YOU EVEN MET YOUR OWN DEMENTED SELVES?

Tigerstar: Lookie here honey, you either start being nicer, or we will make your death exceedingly painful.

Sunpaw: IDC! OMG! WTF IWWY? FU!

Brokenstar: What. The. Hell. Was. That.

Sunpaw: I said I don't care. Oh my God! What the fuck in wrong with you? Fuck you.

Brokenstar: Fucking bitch.

Sunpaw: Oh shut it tyrant king.

Tigerstar: Sweetheart leave now if you would like to see tomorrow.

Sunpaw: Fine! Fuck you all! Go to hell!

Brokenstar: Where do you think I am?

Sunpaw: With me- Oh.

Brokenstar: LEAVE BITCH!

Sunpaw: I'm going! Bye.

Brokenstar: Good riddance!

_5 Seconds later. _

Sunpaw: Ghaa! Damn I went the wrong way and Tigerstar, your death was gross!

Tigerstar: LEAVE BITCH!

_5 seconds later_

Sunpaw: Ewe! Hawkfrost your death was gross too!

Hawkfrost: LEAVE BITCH!

_5 seconds later_

Sunpaw: Way to fay ahead. The time machine inventers took me out to tea.

_10 seconds later_

Sunpaw: Wow! I am finally back!

Firestar: Sunpaw, I have a report from someone that you used the time machine. You know that your not supposed to! If time gets messed up-

Sunpaw: I didn't! Why would you say that?

Firestar: Because Brokenstar, Tigerstar, And Hawkfrost are still alive. When we were going to kill them, they called PETA.

Sunpaw: _cough_

_In the Dark forest_

Brokenstar: _On the phone _Wow! Who knew she could be so helpful? We would be dead without her!

Tigerstar: _On the phone _Yeah.

Hawkfrost: _On the phone_ Um, well I guess we can let her back in. So Brokenstar, how is jail for child abuse? And Tigerstar, how is jail for murder?

Tigerstar/ Brokenstar: Not good, but better than death.

Hawkfrost: I am so glad she showed us the IPhones! I have the 6S!

Brokenstar: I know right? Where would I be without text?

Tigerstar: Or without my mac 15! What is life without Mincraft?

Hawkfrost: Meaningless without YouTube.

All: Bye!

_And so everyone lived happily ever after until the world blew up 10 seconds later because Sunpaw messed up time creating a paradox. _


End file.
